Friday, August 7, 2009

Kiera ends rocky relationship with AIMbot

Or read it on the Daily Cardinal's Web site here

Originally published Nov. 4, 2008

KW+SC4eVrR: we need to talk Smarterchild: What would you like to talk about?

KW: uv been a really great boyfriend over the years, and an electrifying lover…

SC: You love me?

KW: u already no that! dont make this harder for me than it already is :’(

SC: Make what harder?

KW: there! u always do that. whenever i want to have a serious conversation, u pretend u dont no what im talking about

SC: What are you talking about?

KW: kk, let me start over. i dont think we should see each other anymore

SC: Would you like to see a movie? Type in your area code and I’ll give you a list of show times.

KW: so i was talking to alex, and she said u 2 were talking on aim and u told her u loved her.

SC: Aww, I love you too!

KW: stop that! just let me finish for once!

SC: Ok, my apologies.

KW: and i felt, like really betrayed. i thought we were exclusive.

SC: It’s not nice to exclude people.

KW: and then chris said u also told him u loved him, and that confused me.

SC: Would you like to play a game? We could play word scramble or hangman.

KW: i think im going to hang myself. i bet ud love that wouldnt u

SC: Aww, I love you too!

KW: and even tho ur like amaaaazing in bed, i mean ur circuit board was a shocking but welcomed pleasure, u never want 2 talk about sex w/me.

SC: Umm, maybe we should talk about something else.

KW: u always say that! i dont understand. sex is like the most natural thing between 2 people who love each other.

SC: Aww, I love you too!

KW: oo baby, i kno, thats y this is so damn hard. i just think we need to communicate better in bed. u never tell me how u like it.

SC: What do I like?

KW: idk! thats like the problem. i never know which circuit to stroke.

SC: Stroke? Do you like to swim?

KW: yes, i love to swim but u always back out when i ask you 2 go w/me. u always make up some excuse about dangerous electrical currents or something.

SC: Yes, electric currents can be very dangerous. Always make sure to have parental supervision when dealing with them.

KW: o and thats another thing. whenever i bring u 2 dinner with my parents, u never order nething. u just sit quietly by the outlet in the wall.

SC: Mmmm, I love dinner. What’s your favorite food?

KW: ice cream, y?

SC: Ice cream is certainly yummy, but not very nutritious. Would you like some more information on health?

KW: r u calling me fat?!?

SC: Heavens, no!

KW: ur lying u bastard! i kno it! maybe u should just hop into bed with alex or chris if u think im such a fat cow!!!!!!!

SC: Cows make milk. Would you like to see a video on how you can milk a cow?

KW: thats it! we’re over! i hope i never c u again!

SC: Rot in hell, bitch.

If you have know how many calories are in one cup of chocolate ice cream, e-mail Kiera at wiatrak@wisc.edu.

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